Tyler Perry's Temptation #RelationshipLessons [GUEST POST]

 I just watched Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor yesterday and even though I'm a single man I learned some vital relationship and marriage lessons:

1. As the man, the most important person in your life is your lady but don't ever assume she knows this. Tell her all the time. Women like to hear good things about themselves.

2. As a man, don't ever assume some things don't matter, like when she changes her hair or wears it differently or when she puts on extra makeup.

3. Dear Mister, don't ever forget her birthday.

4. Dear Mister, even if you don't have much, give her all you can. Always support her dreams, hopes and aspirations. She'll love you for it.

5. As a lady, never compare your man with another, you'll pay dearly for it. He is who he can be;
it's your job to make him more than he is. That's why you are his help meet.

6. As a lady, try your best to tell him when he upsets you, he can't read your mind.

7. Both of you must remember that your friendship is even more important than your romance.

Romance may fade, friendship will help you stick together through rough patches.



David Adeleke is a blogger and student who has love for knowledge and inspiration. He uses relatable experiences to inspire his readers and help them lead better lives. To connect with him, simply head over to his blog for his contact details and follow him on twitter as
@MrDavidAdeleke or send him a mail at adeleke.i.david@gmail.com. Visit his Blog: DavidAdeleke.blogspot.com

DON'T LET AN EXAM RESULT DECIDE YOUR FATE

I came across this Spoken Word Video and I haven't seen anything that has really expressed my mind concerning Education more than this video... Watch and be enlightened.

Introducing The Introduction

Ugorji Ebenezer (born August 23, 1993), better know by his stage name Riel, is a Nigerian hip hop recording artist, songwriter and record producer. Riel's first recognition was when he was featured on the song Forgiven by OJAY in the mixtape #FORGIVENMIXTAPE in October 2013. Shortly after was the release of his own single "Best I Could Ever Have" from his upcoming mixtape which also features vocals from OJAY.

His debut mixtape The Introduction - The Mixtape is due to be released in the last week of November 2013.

You can reach him on:

Facebook name: Ugorji Ebenezer

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/RielsTheIntroductionTheMixtape

Twitter handle: @papersprings45

Here's the download link for Best I Could Ever Have

WHY I LOVE SEX EPISODE 2 - 9ine With Iweanya Victor

The Second Episode of the WHY I LOVE SEX series is finally out...... Watch the first episode here... Please watch, Enjoy and give a feedback..

Thank you so much!!

How Not To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend...

Sequel to Having a Guy as a Best Friend, Its Pros and Cons ,The  'Love? Maybe? Pro/Con??' can be a big decision to make. However, Is it possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex and not be romantically involved with them? The answer is YES!. Stereotypically  we may think if a guy and a girl spend time together more than they do with their other friends, then something more than just the usual friendship is going on between them. But in a world of so much open-mindedness and equitability, there are other choices.

Here are some tips that I find useful since my best friend is also a guy *blushes*. He gives me all the reasons to fall in love with him, since he is so the ideal type, but I try my best to always have my counter strikes. I choose not to; I want not to.

1. START YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH THE END IN MIND. It is important that you, on the very onset of your friendship, set your mind that your best friend will always be your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. The 'mind over matter' rule could still apply. Make a personal rule that it is forbidden to entertain any thoughts regarding your best friend being your ideal partner, or else, you will always hold on to that mental note and eventually, label him as an ideal partner not as a best friend. Whenever your mind accidentally crosses that line, shake it off as soon as you can.

2. CHOOSE NOT BE ATTRACTED. It is normal and sometimes inevitable to be attracted to your best friend. But of course, you have become the best of friends because you have seen qualities in each other that you find fascinating or plainly, attractive. So, don't feel so bad or sheepish whenever you feel attracted but learn to go back to reality. Whenever you see his best side, humorously divert your attention to his worst side. It helps. From being the good looking, almost perfect best friend to his eccentricity of singing like a frog, or farting like a pro, if there is such.

3. VERBALIZE HOW YOU SEE HIM AS YOUR BROTHER (OR A SISTER IF YOU'RE A GUY!). This is again for your own sake. It is to season your mind that there is a red line between liking him and loving him like your sibling. Call him brother all the time (Even if he hates it sooo much). Associate him with your real brother, if you have one. Having a male best friend is so special and gratifying, because you could always ask him a male's point of view regarding anything, for free. It is expedient to run to him for an advice regarding your personal issues, whether this is regarding your relationship with other people, or sometimes, economic issues, to draw the line that he is, indeed, your brother who could help you, even in the most non-romantic ways.

4. BE EMBARRASSED WITH THE POSSIBILITY. I suggest that you keep the cattiness, at least, just to not fall for your best friend. Just imagine how he could totally turn away from you, 360 degrees, if he finds out you are engrossing yourself with imaginations of things friends are not supposed to do. Well, technically, I would not know how on earth will he find out that he is involved in your phantasm, but just imagine how awkward would that make him feel that at some point, you have envisioned him being idealistically linked to you, in not so wholesome manner. Imagine how that would make you feel, too!

5. FINALLY, CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Personally, I could give my life for my best friend. I could give anything for him. There were moments when I would actually ponder if I was attracted to him in some other ways or if it was more of being overwhelmed that I actually have a man in my life who cares and loves me like his own blood sister, even if I am not his family. That is just way too much of a deluge sometimes. A man who is so good to you and so believes in you like no other men do. Minus all the sexual thoughts and intentions. That is, let me say it again, overwhelming, nowadays.

I was inspired to write this because honestly, I have been bothered by my having a guy best friend. Not really bothered by the relationship itself but how people around us see it. He would tell me how his guys asked him if he ever courted me, or how his friends would sometimes throw wisecracks at him regarding me as his just friend, or how my brothers would tease me every time I mention his name. I chose to be his best friend and that's what forever I will be( I hope so!). Again, it is a decision, not merely an emotion. The fact is, he is everything, well almost everything, that I would like my eternal companion to be- brainy, expressive, outspoken, artistic, hilarious and pompous, in a good way...but he is my best friend. Once again, I am able to find a very solid friendship founded on trust, confidence and love and I do not want to, even if this is just speaking theoretically, to ruin this one precious, oh-so-good-thing that I have with him, just because of my dopey and mindless self-professed feelings. Never. I know in my heart that both our intentions towards each other are always, chaste and objective. I will never ever fall in love with my best friend.

Warning!; Some expressions are over-exaggerated, and the use of the word "never" holds a lot of uncertainties  and even as sweet as our friendship sounds, we are still cats and dogs!.. Enjoy reading!

Having a Guy as a Best Friend:Its Pros and Cons.

Growing up, my interests skewed toward basketball rather than Barbie and I preferred getting down and dirty to getting all made up.

Over time, I learned that boyfriends and boy friends fell into two separate categories.

While exciting — especially if you went to an all-girls high school — getting up close and personal with guys can also be daunting.

Well, here’s what I think

On the Bright Side;

·         The nicknames: Calling someone you know so well by the same name everyone else does is booooooring. Usually derived from an inside joke or a shared experience that went horribly wrong, guys can come up with some pretty strange/awesome nicknames. If anyone else calls you a fat waffle muffin cat, they'll face a horrible, slow, extremely painful death. But when he says it, you look up, totally oblivious to everyone else’s snickers/horrified stares

·         No shame, at all:  Guys do stupid stuff. Guys do stupid stuff a lot more often and a lot more willingly than girls. Tell a girl to wear slippers to school and she’ll look at you like you're an escaped monkey with no brain. Tell a guy to dress in drag, hop on the back of a llama, and go sing at the closest karaoke bar, and he’ll ask you if his shoes match his dress

·         The partner:  Guys gravitate towards the person they like the best at any specific point in time. Having one for a best friend means a partner for every project, a person to talk to when the teacher says no talking, and an assistant to help you bury the body of the latest person to break your heart. Plus, a guy best friend can always act as a stand-in, non-awkward date to a dance.

·         Loyal, honest and low-drama, men are fantastic friends

·         Guys won't just freak out and get mad at you

·         He can give you advice about dating... He is a guy, and who knows guys better than guys?

·         There’s always someone to play FIFA with even though you suck so much he could possibly spell your name with his goals.

·         They're good at keeping your secrets. Then again, the right girl would do that, too.

·         They're helpful, and just generally fun to hang out with

·         When you look horrible, they'll give you they're big, baggy sweatshirt so you can hide*winks*.

But on the Other Hand;

The lack of “girlfriend” factor:  Guys aren’t girls. (No, really? Tell me more!) They have different issues. Other than the amazingly comfortable hoodies they own, you can’t wear their clothes. They don’t understand PMS, can’t give make-up advice, and never have a spare tampon.

The comments:  “Awww, you guys would make such a cute couple!” “You know you guys will get married someday! *wink*” People have this funny habit of sticking their nose in anything. Like sweaters, or grass, or my business. They suffer under the mistaken impression that any guy and girl that spend that much time in each othe

r’s company must be secretly madly in love and are just both too shy to confess. And this deep-running friendship is so strong; the pair should probably just go get married now and save everyone involved a lot of trouble. Actually, I know it’s really hard to believe, but being best friends with someone means you actually have to talk them. They know everything about you, including who you drool over. So as much as we act like a married couple, we aren’t ever planning on actually being one.

The “other woman”:  Eventually, if you pick a guy worth anything, he’ll get a girlfriend. An actual girlfriend, not a girl (space) friend. Suddenly you’re not the one he calls about the newest fascinating level of his video game. As much as those lectures killed your phone minutes, you miss them. Plans have to be made more than 5 minutes in advance, to make sure they don’t conflict with couple-y activities. And constant, obnoxious, sarcastic flirting is suddenly a big no-no.

Crushing: The guys picked to be best friends always are smart, adorable, sweet, talented, funny, and generally amazing(maybe, not all, but for me sha!) . In other words, exactly the same type I fall head-over-heels for. The plus side is you spend every minute with your crush. At the same time, having the guy you’re drooling over call you a little sister is about as romantic as dancing with your uncle at a wedding. Not exactly destining you for a lifetime of bliss together.

Love? Maybe? Pro/Con?? (That’s for you to decide); Sometimes, when Jupiter and Pluto align just so and Mars collides with the sun, things work out. This is a HUGE if, and can ruin a friendship if it doesn’t end up working. But if it does, you are part of an elite group of magical couples that simultaneously are twins, best friends, and an actual couple.

So, if you like a boy as more than friends, or dream of a future romance, make it clear from the get go. Otherwise, you may get very hurt when you express your feelings a year into the friendship and he doesn’t reciprocate because he’s firmly established that you’re a buddy, only.

Bottom Line: Always be aware of how you’re presenting yourself to potential suitors ;) and be sure to consider whether you’re willing to lose a best friend to maybe gain a boyfriend.

If you think otherwise or you have more ideas, feel free to comment....

Compiled by Iweanya Veronica

If I Should Have a Daughter...

I've have this burning passion to often listen to Spoken Word. It's a form of art that combines written poetry and theater. What inspires me more is the zeal, the effort, the emphasis made on words so as to enable the listener go deep into them, instead of listening to them merely as a form of entertainment.
Anyone can read out a bunch of words adding a little drama but what makes Spoken Word different is that somehow you can always relate with the words, ponder on them, day after day, and be inspired, just as I am at the moment.
Here are a few couple of words, from 21 years old Sarah Kay's If I Should Have a Daughter. Happy reading!


If I should have a daughter…“Instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.” Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”

She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried.

And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”

But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

“Baby,” I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

Watch it here, performed live, so inspiring!, so much truth in it.


I would love to go through and highlight the portions of the poem that I find the most meaningful, but I can’t – it all hits home with me. The way she speaks mesmerizes me. Her poetry is beautiful beyond anything else I have ever heard. And her mind, her thoughts, sometimes match up with mine and sometimes make me think about life in new ways that I’d never considered.

But this poem affected me more than any other she’s written (and believe me, I’ve watched most of them on YouTube). This is how I want to raise my little ones. This is how I feel about trust and cynicism and vulnerability. This is the message I want to communicate through my actions – that it’s not wrong to open yourself up to being hurt, to be in awe of our beautiful world, to love more than others think is wise, to believe that chocolate can fix a few heartaches, and to believe that everything, everything, happens for a reason.

10 SURE THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

LMAO!!! So i stumbled upon this and it just blew my mind.... Sketch courtesy of @Ofilispeaks

Being Poor Is The Root of all Evil.

Before you wonder what made me think of this topic. I stumbled upon this video, and it seems to make more sense to me than the sermons i've been given recently.

Hope it inspires you as much as it does, me.

FACEBOOK PASTORS.... PFFFFFFT..

So, above is a screenshot of a post I saw on Facebook which i found really difficult to comprehend because of its amusing sentences. It started with "999 is a reverse of 666" and he also said it was a revelation... Loooool!!!.. and he also said The second coming of Jesus is around the corner, which i don't doubt.. But in my confused state i asked a simple question, "What does 999 have to do with the second coming" and i got lambasted in the comments that followed...

With the increasing number of revelations we now see and hear, especially on Facebook, i have almost promised myself to start ignoring them... but they are a few good ones tho... 

My people abeg, what do you think???

INSPIRATION

YOU ARE EXACTLY AS OLD AS YOU THINK

You are exactly as Old as you think.... Think about that... Age is just a number, maturity is in the head. The true measure of age should be determined by your level of thoughts, depth of insights and manner of reasoning.. That why you can see a 21 year old behaving like a kid..

So, invest in experiences, invest in your mind and challenge yourself this is how men are made. This is how maturity is built.

As for me, Age is just a number, Maturity is in the Head...

INSPIRATION...

Have a Splendid Sunday Everyone!

You Can Only Connect The Dots Looking Backwards

In Life we all have plans for the future, goals we want to achieve, dreams we wish would come true and all sorts of ambition for our life; but the funny thing about life is that it's very funny. Some people end up becoming what they never planned to become and the likes of it but what i've realised is that; you can only look back at life and see how the dots connected to your current state. You cant really see how it will connect to the future because what is life without uncertainties.

 So what do we do??

Invest in experiences, challenge your mind, strive to do something you've never done before, think like there's no box and learn new things. When I was younger I learnt how to design websites, i also learnt graphic design and a couple of other things. Well, I stopped doing them but sometime early this year I got involved in a fashion project called FASHIONOVA which was hosted by a company I Co-Founded Necktar GT and those skills i learnt way back came in handy.So, the things you get yourself involved in somehow will connect to bring out something incredible in the future.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path". - Steve Jobs

I'm working on a top secret project that'll be unveiled soon... I never know where this would lead.

INSPIRATION

My Acrimony with the Aviation Sector and 'Dignitaries'

Barely 72 hours after we celebrated the 53rd Independence day Anniversary of this great country, my desires for her have even burned brighter (check out The Nigeria I Desire ).

In the wee hours of Thursday, the 3rd of October 2013, Another tragedy struck in Lagos when a chartered aircraft carrying the remains of  a former Governor of Ondo State, Dr. Olusegun Agagu, 20 passengers  and crew crashed less than a minute after take-off from the local wing of the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, Ikeja. (for full news, click here). With all due respect to the dead, i'm in fact, a very pained citizen!

With the mentality of my dear people, let me lament firstly on the fact that 'pesin don die,but u stil wan kill am again'. Please, let sleeping dogs lie, (rather let late people, rest in peace). May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace! (somebody shout amen!!)

Secondly, in fact i'm angry at this country, Our aviation sector has been so poisoned, flying on a plane is like a suicide mission. At the airport, you would meet Nigerians of all religions, practicing their mode of worship, so as to ensure a safe journey, this, am sure only happens in Nigeria. Even after your flight has been delayed for over 6 hours for 'maintenance reasons', you are still not ensured a safe flight and landing. I can only but pity the crew members who know the risk of their jobs, but have no choice.

I share a personal experience with gratitude to God in my heart, I recently boarded a Nigerian local aircraft  in Lagos bound for the capital city of Abuja, not only was the flight delayed for 7 hours, we finally took off, and we got to Abuja and couldn't land. According to the co-pilot, 'rain was falling'  in Abuja. We hovered in the air for over 2 hours, in fear and panic for the unknown. We all thought it was over, until the pilot announced that we were turning back to Lagos. My dear readers, i pray you would never experience such panic in your life. I heard fellow passengers say their last prayers!, children crying, mothers cursing, everyone afraid!. But with the Mighty Hands of the God of this country, the Almighty One, We landed back in Lagos safely and who can imagine that the aviation fuel in the plane finished as were were almost taxing to a stop, in fact i can say the plane taxied, and halted not because of the decreasing acceleration, but because the fuel finished (Somebody Shout Alleluia!!!). The rest remains a story for another day..

The more annoying thing is that our dear leaders know, and they are, as usual 'On top of the situation, in their private air crafts and jets, while those who voted them into power die every time in plane crashes. Now private air crafts are crashing,  who knows the next trend of safe transportation?

The most annoying thing about this country is the fact that, even in death, all men are not treated equally. The names of 'dignitaries' flood the headlines of the newspapers, but the names of crew members and 'laymen' are almost omitted. They are people's loved ones, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, best friends too! A manifest is written and names of dignitaries are topping the list in bold letters, and the 'rest' are written as footnotes. Condolence messages and visits flood the house of these 'dignitaries' while the loved ones of the 'others' are left to mourn alone with no support.

This is a sincere cry of plea. Please this should stop!.. All men are equal in the sight of God. They deserve to be treated equally, If  you think all fingers are not equal, try cutting off your thumb and see if you can still hold anything well.

With a deep and sincere heart, My condolences go to all who have lost their loved ones in plane crashes, May their Gentle Souls, Rest in God's ever welcoming Bosom! Amen...

And also to the loved ones of the #ALUU4, May they find peace in God's hands!

Relationship = Loss Of 3 Friends. At least

It's been a while I wrote something on Relationships but i have something to say today.. ghen ghen .

I did a little reading here and there a while ago and discovered that when you enter a relationship, you lose a couple of friends. I wondered why until I entered my own relationship a couple of days back..(Head Bows). So YES!! you actually lose about 3 friends at least (Note At least). The girls that were your friends but had a secret thing. You'll lose them. The girls that actually thought you were on their parole. You'll lose them. The guys that can't phantom why you chose the girl. You'll lose them. The guys that have babes less finer than your's. You'll lose them... okay slight exaggeration.. But you'll lose much more because the time you normally spend with those peeps of yours will be converted to her own time... 

I'd love to show you her pic but...... just follow on instagram you'll see her pic wella....

Btw, I just Finished reading CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE's AMERICANAH and that was a great piece of literature.. I'm inspired to start writing fiction hehehehe...

REVIEW: FORGIVEN MIXTAPE by OJAY

Osimahon Happiness Jonathan, better known by his stage name OJAY, is a Gospel Recording artiste, Songwriter, Worshiper at heart, Minister and a Motivational Speaker from Lagos, Nigeria. He was born on the 1st of October, 1993 into a Christian home. He gave his life to Christ at the age of 14. He discovered his gift of singing at the age of 13 while always listening to music. After giving his life to Christ, he became a very active member of the Choir in his school days. He made up his mind to go fully into Gospel Music at the age of 18. OJAY is an anointed singer who has decided to preach the gospel through his music and is dedicated to it. He is very passionate about people who feel there is no hope for them. He has made up his mind to think Christ, talk Christ and act Christ. His Vocal capability is awesome and wonderful. He is really gifted and has the ability to give you the melody you need.

Forgiven mixtape is OJAY’s first main project and the project’s intro titled HERE WE GO is a remake of KB’s song. KB is reach records rapper and remaking any of his songs is not an easy thing to do but OJAY created a perfect intro by using the same chorus of the original song and at the same time beautifully blending the verses to the chorus.

The second song FORGIVEN features guest appearances by Chris Rio and Riel. Chris Rio did a wonderful job with the vocals on this song and Riel’s powerful entrance gave the song the energy it deserves while still maintaining the song’s calm nature. Overall, the song is a good calm song.

NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE is a very eclectic song combining R&B, Rap and Reggae. J-Swiss verses on this song were top notch and I personally like OJAY’s reggae part of the song. The hook on this song is very catchy and I promise you that you will find it difficult trying to get the hook off your head once you listen to this song. I love this song.

DANSAKIRE features Abrizzle and 4runner. I call this song the pendulum song- taking you back and forth between the head bumping melody and the body swerving melody. The message on this song is powerful. The song talks about giving all the glory to God. I hope OJAY will do a faster version of this song on his next project. I think a faster version will be off the hook but the song is still a nice song to listen to. I know some people will disagree with me on releasing a faster version. Some people will definitely love this song the way it is.

WITHOUT YOU for me is the main stand out song of the mixtape. OJAY’s strong vocals mixed with the lyrical content gives this song a fresh sound I haven’t heard from any Nigerian artiste for a while now. This song is my personal favourite.

YOUR LOVE is a song I like mainly due to the lyrical content. It talks about God’s love for us being greater than the love any man could possibly give us. I also like the hook on this song.

The PIANO REMIX OF WITHOUT YOU is the bonus song on this project and I must admit that the piano on this song is wonderful.

Overall the FORGIVEN MIXTAPE is a good debut project and OJAY has shown he has the potential to take gospel music to the next level.

Download Mixtape Here
Twitter handle: @OJAY_MUZIK

Release Date Of "9INE" Season 2 Episode 2 #WhyILoveSexSeries

Sequel to the First Episode, This Episode is extremely exciting, Watch out for it!!

October 8th is the date.

15TH MAY 2007 FINAL EPISODE

15^th May 2007 was the worst day of life and I still remember it with so much hurt and pain.

“Henry; boys, men and the male gender is wicked” I voiced out in agony. “Because of their evil sexual desires and lust, they ruined the life of a young girl and terminated all her hopes and dreams. They ensnared me into a life of sadness, unhappiness and guilt” I continued in a bitter tone.

“Simi, I know how you feel and trust me, until you forgive those men you will forever remain hurt” Henry spoke with intense peace radiating in his eyes

“What do you mean? You don’t know how much they hurt me? You don’t even know half of the psychological damage that they did to me? You don’t....”

“Shhh” Henry whispered lovingly. Before I could angrily respond, he spoke out gently “I’ve been there before and mine was a case of rape by our house-girl when I was just eight (8) years old”

I stared at him in shock and disbelief. “Trust me when I say that until you forgive them, you can never have your sanity back” he interjected immediately.

“But they hurt me” I whispered gently in tears.

“Yes they did! But your restoration from hurt, pain, anguish, bitterness only begins when you let go and let God” Henry muttered gently

“How do you me I let God?” I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

“It’s simple really, forgive them and leave them to God”. Henry looked into my eyes and continued “Forgiving them is freeing yourself from the hurt they caused you and allowing God to deal with them on your behalf”.

For the first time in my life, someone made a whole lot of sense and I could identify on what I referred to as “the beginning of my healing process”.

“I forgive them Henry!” I cried out loud. Henry stood up, raised me up and gave me a hug. Instantly, I felt a kind of strange peace within my soul and at that moment, I boldly spoke out “15^th May 2007 can never hunt me again” 

The Nigeria I Desire... #IWANTANIGERIA

This piece is dedicated to you and the millions of young Nigerians who are justifiably angry, but who dare to desire a New Nigeria. I believe it is possible.

I desire a  Nigeria where every Nigerian child has access to quality education; a country with some of the best universities in the world that would bring forth ideas that would stun the ends of the earth. I desire a Nigeria where our graduates will be worthy of their degrees, not recipients of “sexually transmitted degrees”


I desire a  Nigeria where her people die in the presence of loved ones rather than in lonely foreign hospitals; a country that would break boundaries in the field of medicine. I desire a Nigeria that would treat foreigners as well as her own.

I desire a Nigeria with  an ever efficient and effective aviation sector, where there will be no air disasters and no flight delays; and airlines will ensure that their flights are on schedule, and if there are delays the airlines will tell passengers the exact reasons rather than the nonsensical “operational reasons”. I desire a society where customers will be queens and kings. I desire an aviation sector that will be planned for a growing population. I desire a country that renovates and builds airports for today and tomorrow. I desire the day when it will take passengers at our international airports less than 10 minutes to go through immigration.  I  desire a functional rail system and motorable roads, with the resultant decline in road accidents.

I dream of a Nigeria where human life is worth something, where human rights are respected, where good governance, right to life, security, and environmental safety are the norm rather than the exception.

I desire a Nigeria devoid of celebrated corruption; a nation with responsive and responsible leadership; a country with diligent and committed followership and a country that detests unnecessary call for 'hurray!' when it is not yet 'uhuru'.

I desire a Nigeria of free and fair elections; a country that does not see assumption of political office as a do-or-die affair.

I desire a Nigeria where the Coat of Arms means a lot,where the anthem is not sang for naught, where the currency is not bought, where the flag is without blot, where the motto calms down wrath, where the leaders have the led in thought. I desire a Nigeria where its leaders would have a better way of settling disputes other than hitting each other with The Mace .

I desire a Nigeria with citizens being equal, where parental connections won’t be the ticket, where I see men boasting of three square meals, graduates smiling a their work places, I see the green in our flag showing on our lands.

I desire a  Nigeria in which the primary objective of the men of God is to save souls and not to get population and collect offertory from large congregations. I desire a Nigeria where all religious leaders eat from one bowl, knowing its one God they all serve.

I desire a Nigeria that i would 'google' images of and see beautiful people, wonderful landscapes, excellent economic analysis, well organised government system, not hungry children, wounded men and women, riots and flooded roads, crowded streets  and dump sites .(well, try it and see!)

I desire a Nigeria that would not only win gold medals during the Olympics  but also host the Olympics proudly and gallantly.

I look forward to a Nigeria where every citizen and, even, foreigners would take pride in. An icon in the league of nations, a country where poverty will be at the barest minimum; a nation of outstanding inventors, producers and manufacturers, and not a nation of only consumers.

I desire a new Nigeria!
Happy 53rd Independence Day!!

Feel free to add your desires for this great country in the comment box..

"I See A Thousand Losers"

Below is a Speech I stumbled upon and I felt the need to share it.. I actually find it very funny...

 "Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me. Please, take a good look around you. Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this: five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 thirty years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude.

"In fact, as I look out before me today, I don't see a thousand hopes for a bright tomorrow. I don't see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers.

"You're upset. That's understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence 'Larry' Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nation's most prestigious institutions? I'll tell you why. Because I, Lawrence "Larry" Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not.

"Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet -- for now, anyway -- is a college dropout, and you are not.

"Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not.

"And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not.

"Hmm... you're very upset. That's understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have spent four to five years here, and in many ways what you've learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. You've established good work habits. You've established a network of people that will help you down the road. And you've established what will be lifelong relationships with the word 'therapy.' All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy.

"You will need them because you didn't drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I don't have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer.

"Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, 'Is there anything I can do? Is there any hope for me at all?' Actually, no. It's too late. You've absorbed too much, think you know too much. You're not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and I'm not referring to the mortar boards on your heads.

"Hmm... you're really very upset. That's understandable. So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of '00. You are a write-off, so I'll let you slink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago.

"Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today. I say to you, and I can't stress this enough: leave. Pack your things and your ideas and don't come back. Drop out. Start up.

"For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as suredly as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me down..."

Do you agree with his line of thought??

Speech culled from here

The Things That Truly Do Not Matter

Every day, we all start on a clean slate – 24 new, shiny hours to fill as we see fit. So, do you spend those hours building lasting relationships with family and friends?  Or do you spend them in the pursuit of meaningless endeavors? When it is all said and done, the phrase “you can’t take it with you” applies to everyone—no exceptions. But, what you can do is leave a lasting legacy of faith, hope, and love, leave your footprints in the sands of time, leave your name on people's lips, leave your presence in people's hearts...

Sequel to The things that truly matter, I've managed to compile a list of things that do not matter, i mean DO NOT MATTER!! at all. Please feel free to make the list longer with your ideas!

1.Sports Results: Competitive sports are great. They provide hours of entertainment and fellowship. They can unite a family, friends, or even a city around a common goal—to win the big game! However, when the buzzer sounds or the clock runs out, it was just that—a game. Keep it in perspective.

2.Unrealistic Expectations: Don’t let your joy be robbed by others’ unrealistic expectations of you—or your own expectations for yourself. Life is too short to feel like a perpetual failure. Find your own unique purpose for your life and do the best you can.

3. Destructive Emotions: Asking for forgiveness when you’ve wronged someone is important. Granting forgiveness when someone has hurt you is just as important. If someone has caused pain or heartache in your life, you are only hurting yourself by letting anger, resentment, or bitterness remain in your heart. Let it go and move on with your life.

4. Vanity: We live in an air-brushed world. And, it can cause us to be obsessed with how we look, feel, or measure up to others. Remember, your value is in who you are, not in how you look or what you do. You were created exclusively by God and for God.You are handmade, custom-designed, and fully loaded by God.

5. Technology:  Modern conveniences can be wonderful things. The Internet helps businesses flourish.  Cell phones provide a new level of safety by never being out of touch. While technology can be a positive in our lives, remember the significance of a face-to-face meeting or enjoying an entire dinner without texting. Nothing is more important than our personal relationships.

6. Wealth:  The love of money is the root of all evil. Having money in and of itself is not evil; the love of money is. How you acquire it and what you do with it may be planting unwanted weeds—greed, excess, jealousy—that need to be pulled out by their roots. Living comfortably is a blessing. Being obsessed with wealth is a curse.

7. False Idols: Fame, fortune, power, and pleasure don’t really matter in the end.They are just false idols that we pursue because we think they’ll make us happy. But our real joy and satisfaction can only be found in God.

8. Social Media: Your amount of Facebook friends and Twitter followers do not matter at all (except for entrepreneurial purposes). Don't make a big deal out of it too, after all, in the next few years, more than half of them would be dormant

9. Complaints: We’re raising a generation of sh-t talkers. In your workplace this is a cancer. If you have issues with management, culture or your role & responsibilities, SPEAK UP. Don’t take those complaints and trash-talk the company or co-workers or even lecturers and classmates on lunch breaks and anonymous chat boards. If you can effectively communicate what needs to be improved, you have the ability to shape your surroundings and professional destiny. If you cannot, please keep your comments to yourself..

10. Worrying about the wrong people:The ladies of The Real Housewives of Orange County, they’ll survive without you. The family members and friends of The Kardashians, they won’t notice your absence if you stop watching their show. Even the private lives of your elected politicians and local public figures mean nothing in the grand scheme of your own life.

But your significant other, your friends, your children, your siblings, extended family members – these are the people who truly matter to you. Give them your time and attention. They’re the ones who deserve it.

11. Gossiping:Gossip is the evil. If you want to know something about someone, ask. Don’t assume; that’s how gossip grows and spreads.If you’ve talked to more than one person about something someone else is doing, it’s time to step forward and actually talk to the person you’ve been talking about. And if it’s truly ‘not your place’ to talk to this person, it’s likely ‘not your place’ to talk about them either.

Ultimately, you should focus on judging less, loving more, and resisting the temptation to gossip about others, or portray them in a poor light. Be impeccable with your words. Speak with integrity. Avoid using your words to gossip about others. Use the power of your voice to spread truth and love only. 

Remember!, Happiness is easy when we let go of the things that do not matter...

I guess we've learned one or two things today. Feel free to write what shouldn't matter to you in the comment box!!..